Dating and relationships aren’t a new phenomenon for the millennials or Gen Z. However, commitment and love are. It is in the past few decades that we saw a wider acceptance of sex, friends with benefits, long-distance relationships, no strings attached, polygamous relations; etc. However, what is still a little unsettling for most people is being single. Hitched or dating people often have an opinion on those who are single or been single for a long time. Single in your 30s is something that does not go down well with most of the people, including friends and family. And if you are in your 20’s and never dated, god forbids it’s a nightmare for those who cannot see life without someone.
So this time Global Youth Voice turned the tables around and asked singles what they think about relationships. The response was quite insightful and intriguing. And here are a few opinions happily or nor singles might agree on. For those of you, who are happy with dating, it might add a new perspective in your lives.
Quite hard to find sometimes
Deepankar, 24 says “I’m currently single, but while I was in a relationship I expected my partner to be honest and be supportive. However, these days people lack honesty. It is very hard to find a person who will be honest with you right from the start. So, if you have someone who is honest and is your support pillar during your bad times, stick to them. There would be bad phases in a relationship, but what you have is a rarity these days.”
Samay elaborates on his singlehood to us. He said “So, being single for 21 years of my life, I will try to share my experiences as honestly as possible. First is the loneliness that I felt from the age of 14 till 21. It is very constant. Now that I have adapted to it, it’s less painful. It is sometimes important to get over the illusion of relationships and togetherness. A reality about relationships is that everybody is lonely. They are just lying if they say they are not. For instance, in the case of a couple sleeping together when one sleeps before the other, which they will, the other person is lonely.”
Samay also admitted that relationships are important to learn something. He added, “I admit that relationships are important to experience in some form. One starts feeling missing out at life. You end up a little desperate looking for that same emotional need from your friends sometimes. We all need someone sometimes.”
“Love brings the best out of way”
Ishaan who is soon going to be 29, opened about his experiences, plans, and idea of a relationship. Ishaan says, “Relationships are beautiful. Loving someone brings the best out of way. You would do things you never expected you had in you. On the downside, if things go south, relationships tend to leave deep scars. That results in people becoming wary about taking that plunge again. The emotional traumas run deep and some never recover. Consequential trust issues, insecurities and pain follow.” Ishaan further adds, “The long talks and holding hands. You start cherishing each and every moment you spend with that person. And the feeling of spending your whole life with them doesn’t seem that daunting. Love gives you strength.
On the question of future plans or where he sees himself in a relationship, he responds saying, “Currently I am in the no relationship mind frame. As for the future, one could never be too sure. But presently, I prefer being single. To enjoy life unbound and untethered. Free of emotional baggage and to explore the world put there alone. I wish to discover and explore myself and every aspect of life.”
“It was the age of foolishness”
25-year-old Aditya quotes Dickens when asked about relationships. According to him, relationships are best described by Charles Dickens. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.”
Aditya adds, “To experience the best of life, you need to achieve the perfect balance. For instance, instead of having petty fights, one should be more empathetic to others and vice versa. If you achieve balance, it is well and good. If you don’t, then keep searching for one worth putting the efforts for.”
23 years old Hayat chuckles, “I have never dated so I can’t tell you about my past experience since I am single since birth. But I know everything comes with pros and cons. I have friends who are/were dating and realized that relationships don’t guarantee happiness all the time. It may cost you a lot and be exhausting at times. My suggestion to those jumping into one just to be a part of some social group, just don’t!! There are people who put a lot of effort into years and things may still not work out. So I focus on finding happiness within, instead of finding it in someone else.”
“It’s not a competition”
Naman is 22 and a recent graduate from VIT. The engineer/poet/writer says, “Relationships teach how to understand someone else’s Point of View(POV). The world has a different POV, and with the proper discussion, you come to know you can be both wrong and right. It’s not a competition. It’s something to learn about leading life.”
On being single, he says, “As a single person you feel life does feel free but what do you do all this for. Friends come and leave, but you don’t actually get to share the same enthusiasm for your success in life as with a partner.”
Abhishek is 27 and discusses the important aspect of personal space and choice in a relationship. The Delhi-based single and not ready to mingle soul says, “I think finding a right partner is mere luck. Also, if you are not a good listener, have jealously issues, or if you don’t understand the privacy of your partner, you don’t understand consent. And in such cases, please don’t be in a relationship. You must respect your partner’s choice. And if you are not ready to accept that, the best measure is to not get involved with someone.”
“I am free now”
As we spoke to outsiders, our single contributors at GYV also answered the queries for us. She said, “I believe that being single gives you a lot of time to introspect and give to yourself. Being in a relationship is not too bad either if it’s not toxic. I think you’re freer if you’re single and you’re free to take your decisions and you’re not influenced. I think I’m okay to be in a relationship with someone who really knows me. I’d love to be out there and know that someone’s got my back. I don’t have an aversion from the idea of being in love.”
So, we think we may have your doubts to an extent. But, if you have any dilemma regarding love and relationships, mail us and we will get your queries answered by a professional.
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